Lt. Croft aims to turn the guards of JJK into an elite force by putting them through a rigorous set of training exercises. Meanwhile, the Chief has fallen off her diet in a big way, so Irwin and her doctor come up with some surprising ways to get her moving again. Read more...
At the JJK office, the team discusses what it would be like to eat a person. Irwin wonders if human meat is tender. Lt. Croft says that it tastes like pork. When Joan asks how he can be so sure, Croft stares silently at the floor. "I've got the damn creeps now," she says.
Out on patrol, Chief and Lt. Croft complain about clients who are too cheap to pay for JJK. Croft says if he had his way, the guards would have mandatory training so the clients get better service.
At JJK, Joan describes what she ate the day before, which includes cheese toast, cereal, donuts, chips, fried chicken and more. Lt. Croft notes that Chief has fallen off her diet and Chief says Parkinson’s is affecting her mobility, so she can't dance to stay in shape any more. Irwin suggests they go to the doctor to get her more medication. "We want you to be the Joan Koplan," adds Christa.
Lt. Croft holds a nighttime meeting with the guards to discuss building an "Elite Force." He wants them to have the persona of a dragon, but not a "stupid Chinese dragon."
Croft holds the first Elite Force training session outside of the JJK office, during which a large man steals a bicycle from right in front of them. The guards fail the challenge, incorrectly describing the culprit as wearing sweatpants, having a mustache, and being only 4'6" tall.
Irwin goes to an electronics store to get new speakers for Joan so she'll "start dancing again." He walks out with numerous boxes. "I got upsold," he admits with a smile.
Outside of the JJK office, Lt. Croft instructs his Elite Force trainees to complete an obstacle course while blindfolded, causing them to stumble into walls and poles. Later, they go to a karate studio and learn hand-to-hand combat using their flashlight as a defense weapon.
Irwin and Joan leave the doctor's office, having successfully gotten a higher dosage of Parkinson's medicine. Later, Joan starts feeling better from the pills, remarking "I can feel the new mobility between my legs."
The Elite Force plays a shooting simulation game at the local high school to teach them when they should use lethal force. Next, they’re made to navigate a paintball course without weapons while Chief and Lt. Croft shoot at them from above. One guard gets hit "right in the boob."
At JJK, the team cheers Joan on as she walks up and down the driveway. "It's the greatest thing in the world," Joan says. "It worked." Irwin surprises her with the new stereo system, complete with a light and fog machine. Christa says the lights will make Joan feel "all sexified." Joan dances to the music.
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