Lt. Croft reveals the reason why he lives at the office, and the JJK team is freaked out by his refusal to shower. The Chief struggles to lose weight. Read more...
Returns in May
In the JJK office, the Chief informs Christa that her pants are so tight, “you can see the part in the front.” Christa wonders, “Are telling me I got camel toe?” Chief and Irwin are unfamiliar with the term so Brian explains what it means.
Later, Joan reveals she’s on a diet. “Food is my enemy,” she says. Lt. Croft notes that Chief “eats small portions, but she eats the most peculiar things,” including peanut butter mixed with whipped cream. “I was going to use that as I diet food,” says Chief, “but I didn’t realize peanut butter has so many calories.” But she is determined and plans to keep the weight off, “I'm not am imbecile, I'm just a fatty!”
Another night, Chief and Croft are out on patrol and she notices that the car smells terrible. “You’re just smelling my pheromones,” Croft responds. “Smells like unfair-mones,” the Chief rebuts. It turns out that it’s been three weeks since Croft took a shower. He defends his habits, “It is customary for the American to shower everyday, I kind of think outside that box.” The Lieutenant reveals that he doesn’t like to see himself naked. “I don’t like to look at my femaleness. It’s not me.” When Chief insists his hygiene needs improvement, Croft relents and asks to have a shower installed at JJK, where he lives.
The next day, Chief exercises by walking back and forth in the parking lot. Croft encourages her by walking alongside her. “I need to be there with her, pressing her, encouraging her,” he says.
Later, Croft explains that he has to take “bird baths” while living at JJK, since he only has a sink. When asked where he lived before JJK, he says “across the street.” Croft walks to where his house was, but it’s only a bare lot. A flashback reveals that, a year ago, Ringgold was ravaged by a tornado. The area around the office was devastated and the JJK staff returned to find that the tornado just missed the building. “It’s a miracle,” says a thankful Irwin, “I have to go to services tonight.” Lt. Croft’s house, however, was not as lucky. “I can live in a truck, I can live in a tent, it doesn't matter,” he says. Joan says he can stay at JJK.
Back in the present, Brian makes a healthy version of General Tso's chicken at the Koplan house, while Irwin relaxes in the hot tub and Joan sits at the table with Croft, trying to teach him Yiddish words. After dinner, Joan and Croft then go into the bedroom where she shuffles around, dancing, while he watches.
The next day, the shower is installed at JJK. Everyone is dubious that Croft will actually use it. Christa presents him with a a basket of bathing products from the whole team and Croft is touched by the gesture.
Later, Irwin brings Joan a bike. “What the hell is that?” she exclaims. “A fat-ass tuchus reduction machine,” explains Irwin, who, to inspire Joan, has taped a photo of her younger self in a bikini to the handle bars. She mounts the bike and peddles away with Croft running next to her. They stop at the site of where Croft’s house used to be. Chief laments about the tornado, “You know it’s gonna happen around here again. That’s just the way it is.” Returning to her usual gruff self, Chief tells Croft that he stinks and needs a shower.
After returning to the office, Croft undresses and steps into the shower.
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